I do not like to pen down the thoughts. Reason 1. We change 2. It might not be true. 3. It might hurt someone. 4. It might become detrimental to me.
With so many fears, some my own and some injected with what's happening around me, I usually avoid penning my thoughts or record them. It is always a neutral subject. It can be either a book I read or a music concert I heard. Perhaps I fear being wrong . Worst part is being caught on the wrong foot. This, I think, I should look into or perhaps work on it.
But thanks to the podcasts I heard, the diaries of people , I decided to rant. Maybe I will change my mind. Maybe I am wrong. maybe I assume many things. But now I think it is a journey I make. So I need to be truthful.
I made a loud resolution albeit to myself that I will write. I will write on things I like, things which I don't, things I aspire though late in life.
Today it is 21st of October 2022.
As I walk I listened to the interview of Alice Evans. Amit varma's podcast 'Seen and Unseen"seems to have opened many windows. It is interesting to see or to be more accurate listen to people from various walks of life, people who have done a lot of work.
Today is the day of decision making. Saila decided to end the contract of Chezian. It is a tough decision. May be it will help in the long run. It is more challenging because now I have to step up my interaction with the work done at the site and cannot afford to be slow or laid back. At the same time it is challenging.
With the erroneous habit of hanging on to the past, I still remember the resistance and pressure I faced when I decided to extend the existing A block shed. Fortunately it became useful for 30 long years. Now it is the main structure itself. The only difference is at that time it was a lone battle and now it is a team. Saila is a great asset. In fact she is the pillar on which we all depend. I feel sorry that her strength has made her a victim of many people leaning on her for their financial. emotional needs.
Today I plan to meet Amarnath Sankar. He is a part of the tumultuous years I passed through. Normally I don't like to look back or meet any of the old acquaintances. It is a kind of shutting down the old life. But it is there. It cannot vanish. So perhaps the time has come to meet this young man .
Today Chimmi messaged asking about the three songs of Rajani. I do not know much about the songs. I also feel sad that we lost the tapes in which we recorded all the original tunes for almost 5 weekends or so. Perhaps it is not to be! Destiny had no plans of preserving them.
I decided to write. I decided to write about what I read, the movie I watched or journey I made. It is exciting!! Hope I will continue it and try to hone my skills.
